Mandatory Matrimony
by existence555
Summary: Shikamaru and Temari accidentally get married. Tsunade tells them that they will have to stay as husband and wife. How will the two be able to stand the most troublesome married life possible? ShikaTema.
1. did we get hitched last night?

**A/N: Ideas keep popping into my head D: But I like this particular one. What do you guys think? Review please! :)**

"You WHAT?!" Tsunade screamed.

Shikamaru winced and reached up to scratch his head.

"We sort of got married," he repeated.

"You can't SORT OF get married!" Tsunade exclaimed. "Either you GOT MARRIED or you DIDN'T GET MARRIED. Which one is it?!"

It was Temari's turn to wince.

"We got married," she admitted. "We didn't mean to, really Hokage-sama. We just had a little too much to drink and I guess we just stumbled upon the wrong place to be when hammered."

"But we thought you could fix it with a divorce or whatever," Shikamaru added. "Being Hokage and all."

Tsunade glared at the two young shinobi.

"If this was any NORMAL case, I would've been able to fix it," she told them. "BUT, as Temari is the Kazekage's sister, we wouldn't want to bring shame to him. That results in all sorts of political things that could lead to him getting removed from his position and I doubt Gaara would want to risk that."

"What are you saying?!" Temari asked. "I have to stay married to _him_?!"

"Hey, I don't want this troublesome marriage either," Shikamaru frowned.

Shizune was probably the only one to notice the blush that was just barely coloring the couple's cheeks.

"Have you informed Gaara-sama?" she inquired.

Temari turned to her, sighing.

"We did," she replied. "He said he'd be here soon but he's just taking too long. And we know there are laws about all this stuff so we decided to tell Tsunade-sama today."

There was a knock at the door and a ninja requested a quick meeting with Tsunade.

"Come in!" Tsunade called, irritated.

"Tsunade-sama," the masked ANBU member said quietly. "Kazekage-sama is here and wishes to see you. Orders?"

"Bring him here," Tsunade demanded.

Gaara slipped in and would've gone unnoticed if not for his announcement that he was here.

"I can bring myself," he said regally.

"Gaara!" Temari exclaimed, running over to her brother. "Gaara, you're finally here!"

"What wonderful timing," Shikamaru muttered. "Now I can have _two_ troublesome Kages killing me."

Gaara didn't even bother to look at Shikamaru. Instead, he walked straight to Tsunade's desk and sat down in one of the chairs in front of it.

"Tsunade-san, my understanding of this situation is less than yours, being less mature," he began. "And I would like you to help me work out the options for my sister and your ninja."

Tsunade took a deep breath before starting.

"Kazekage-san, normally this wouldn't be any concern," she explained. "But, the problem lies in the fact that Temari-san is your sister. Scandals erupt over these things. I'm sure you understand that. When those in the Kages' families get married, they stay that way, or it is seen as irresponsible on the part of the Kage. Are you following me?"

A slight nod from Gaara indicated that he had a full understanding.

"I'm afraid, Kazekage-san, that if they get a divorce, you may be removed from your position," Tsunade continued. "And so we go from there, under the assumption that they would remain married. Now, the problem with a separation would be that of course, there would still be the same sort of scandal. The Daimyo probably already has a record of this marriage. And so, we are really only left with one option, if you want to preserve your status. Temari-san and Shikamaru must remain married, in name and in situation."

Shikamaru managed to choke on his own spit, quite a feat for a shinobi. As he coughed, he figured that it was a pity he hadn't managed to die in the process. Though, marrying Temari was sure to kill him, so he wasn't too worried about survival.

Temari glanced over at him, equally shocked.

"Ah, I see what you're saying," Gaara acknowledged. "We will have to make some decisions though. Perhaps we should find a house for them, and maybe–"

"Now, this is all sounding very troublesome," Shikamaru interrupted. "Don't _we_ get any say in this?"

Gaara's dark eyes pierced Shikamaru's.

"No," he replied firmly. "You were irresponsible and this is what happens to those who act like this."

"But Gaara!" Temari protested. "We just can't be husband and wife. We _can't_!"

"You can and you will," Gaara declared. "For Suna, you will have to do this, Temari."

Temari's eyes flashed but inside, she knew she had to do it.

Shikamaru opened his mouth to complain but once he saw Temari's acceptance, he changed his mind.

"I'm willing to give this a try," he said, only for her ears. "But you, troublesome woman that you are, will have to be willing too."

"For Suna," Temari sighed. "I will do anything for my village, of course."

Tsunade and Gaara exchanged grim looks and began talk of plans for them. It was decided that they would remain in Konoha but that Temari would still be doing missions for Suna. She had, after all, been doing this before, and it wasn't that huge of a change, except for the fact that she was going to be living with Shikamaru now.

"Shikamaru, have you informed your mother?" Tsunade asked.

The pineapple haired shinobi shuddered at the memory.

"Yeah," he replied. "She wasn't too happy. My dad seemed cool with whatever, but you know my mom. I don't think Temari can live in my house."

"Of course not," Gaara agreed. "You will have to get your own home, suitable for raising a family and all that."

Temari and Shikamaru both frowned at that thought.

"Asuma left me his place," Shikamaru pointed out. "We could stay there, I suppose."

The two Kages nodded.

"It's decided then," Tsunade said, a note of finality ringing in her voice.

As the forever doomed with each other couple turned to leave, Gaara put a hand on his new brother-in-law's shoulder.

"If you don't treat my sister with respect, you will find yourself in deep trouble," he warned him.

"I'm _already_ in deep trouble, marrying your sister," Shikamaru chuckled. "Your threats don't scare me, Kazekage-sama."

"In that case, a word of warning on behalf of my sister," Gaara said wryly. "I must admit myself to being scared of her upon more than one occasion."

Shikamaru smirked. At least he had a sort of good natured brother-in-law for support.

"Let's go," Temari called, from the door. "I guess we need to get settled in."

They walked in silence until they got outside.

"I guess, I want to say that I'm sorry," Shikamaru muttered sheepishly. "It's both of our faults but I still wanted to say it."

"Crybaby always apologizing," Temari murmured. "I told you I'd be here to save you, right? Looks like it'll just be literally, _all _the time."

"Maybe this won't be too bad," Shikamaru laughed.

"Oh, this is going to be _terrible_," Temari retorted. "You won't even know what hit you when I'm done with you."

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows.

"Troublesome woman," he said. "This whole thing is rather troublesome, really."

They had reached Asuma's apartment by now and Shikamaru reached for the key, which usually remained in his left pocket. Pushing it into the lock, he swung the door open to reveal a spotless apartment, clean except for the furniture.

"ANBU takes ninja things when they pass away," he explained, motioning to the tidiness.

Temari made a move to step through the door but Shikamaru put an arm in front of her, stopping her.

"Some things just have to be done," he told her. "Even if they're troublesome."

Before she knew what he was doing, he picked her up, bridal style. He then proceeded to carry her into the, no, _their_ new home.

"Shikamaru, you can put me down now," Temari mumbled, evidently embarrassed.

"Some things just have to be done," Shikamaru repeated, to nobody in particular.

It took him a few seconds too long to put her down and at that moment, both of them realized that maybe, this wasn't going to be so bad.

(Oh, how wrong they were.)

* * *

**Note: The title of this chapter is from Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry.**


	2. and i don't even know my last name

**A/N: I'm glad so many people liked this idea. Review, _please_!**

Shikamaru groaned. Having an apartment was great. Moving all the stuff you owned into it? Not so great.

The newlyweds said nothing as they made their way to get Shikamaru's things. After that, they planned to go get Temari's.

As fate would have it, they weren't going to get either thing done. Well, not anytime soon.

"Shikamaru!" a bubbly voice exclaimed. "Temari-chan! I haven't seen you guys in forever. Let's have lunch!"

They exchanged cautious looks, but Ino wouldn't have any of it.

"Come on!" she insisted. "There's a place right here!"

Temari offered Ino a warm smile.

"We'd be happy to join you, Ino-chan," she accepted.

Shikamaru looked from one kunoichi to the other. The bonding of troublesome women was usually even more troublesome than the woman themselves. Why the world was out to get him, he wasn't sure. So, he just sighed and opened the door of the nearest restaurant.

"Let's go," he suggested.

The girls walked in and immediately found themselves in a huge line.

"I've got this," Ino assured them, walking over to the bar.

Temari raised her eyebrows as her fellow blonde began trying to sweet talk the bartender.

"So, does she know?" she asked conversationally.

"No," Shikamaru shrugged. "Only Chouji and my parents know. Should we tell her?"

"Probably," Temari nodded. "She's one of your best friends, and pretty much one of mine too."

They glanced over at Ino, who was in the middle of telling the bartender how dreamy his eyes were. She looked back at them for a second, winking and flashing them a thumbs up, to let them know she'd gotten the table.

"She's really something, isn't she?" Shikamaru chuckled. "Even the bravest of men fall in seconds."

Shikamaru felt the slap before he felt the glare, but both burned.

"What was that for?" he grumbled. "This is why I wanted to marry a normal woman."

"Well, I've got news for you," Temari declared. "You are married to _me_. And I will _not_ tolerate my husband checking out other women."

Shikamaru was about to protest but he realized three things. One, it would take just a little too much effort. Two, he kind of liked the fire in her eyes. Three, he must be insane for thinking such things.

"Come on, guys!" Ino called impatiently.

They went over to the table and sat down. Temari laughed as Ino blew a kiss to the bartender.

"You're ridiculous," she told the younger woman.

"I take pride in it," Ino grinned. "Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it."

Shikamaru snorted.

"Women," he muttered.

"Men are much worse," Temari pointed out. "Idiots, the lot of you."

"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes. "Whatever."

Ino stared at them, her eyes dancing with amusement.

"You guys are like an old married couple," she giggled. "Always arguing."

Temari bit her lip.

"Ino-chan," she began. "About the old married couple thing…"

"OH MY GOD!" Ino exclaimed. "You guys are finally going out?! Shikamaru, I knew that you'd have the guts to do it one day. I told you that she would say yes and–"

Temari looked over at the reddening Shikamaru.

"Oh, wait," Ino said, following Temari's gaze. "I guess not. Err. Never mind, Temari-chan!"

Shikamaru slapped his forehead and wondered for the hundredth time why he told Ino anything that needed to be kept on the down low.

"Our relationship is at a level much higher than going out," Shikamaru explained. "Look, we got a little drunk and went out and had a little event."

"Scandalous," Ino grinned. "I never thought you guys would just sleep with each other. Like–"

"We didn't sleep together," Temari interrupted. "We got married."

There was silence. (Well, except for the sound of Ino's jaw hitting the table.)

"Well, you guys sure move fast," Ino remarked, after digesting the big news. "Wow, I… Divorce?"

"We can't," Shikamaru frowned. "With Gaara's position as the Kazekage, we can't involve him in a scandal like that."

Ino nodded slowly, thinking it over.

"Well then!" she exclaimed finally. "You guys are married now. Temari-chan, are you changing your name?"

Temari's mouth formed a perfect 'o'.

"I hadn't even thought about that," she said slowly. "But…"

"All women change their names when they get married," Shikamaru drawled.

His wife turned fierce eyes on him.

"Well maybe I don't want to lose my _identity_," she hissed.

Ino was perplexed, as she didn't even know if Temari _had _a real last name.

"It's just what wives do," Shikamaru insisted. "I'm not–"

"You are a sexist idiot!" Temari exclaimed. "You're not trying to _what_, Shikamaru?! You're not trying to say that women have to change everything when they get married, down to their _name_? I don't think you're looking at this issue closely enough. How would you like it if I suddenly changed _your_ name? How would you feel if somebody called you Sabaku no Shikamaru?!"

Shikamaru stared at her for a long moment.

"Men don't change their names," he pointed out. "Nobody would ever call me Sabaku no Shikamaru. That actually sounds completely ridiculous."

"AND NARA TEMARI DOESN'T SOUND RIDICULOUS AT ALL, IS THAT IT?!" Temari yelled.

Shikamaru looked around, noticing all the bewildered stares directed at them.

"If you want my opinion," he said softly. "Then no, it doesn't sound ridiculous at all. In fact, it has a rather nice ring to it. But if you want to go all feminist extreme on me, then go ahead, don't change your name. Troublesome woman."

Ino watched in amazement as Temari bit down gently on her lip.

"You think it'd sound nice?" she asked.

"Uh, I guess," Shikamaru replied, turning away to hide his red face.

"Well then," Temari shrugged. "Maybe I will change it."

Ino just couldn't hold it in anymore. She burst out laughing, her roars only getting louder when they shot her strange looks.

"This is bound to be one of the most dysfunctional marriages _ever_," she told them. "Just so you know, the hospital offers couples counseling every Friday at four."

"We don't need counseling," Shikamaru protested. "Really, I mean, we've only been married for a day."

Temari nodded in agreement.

"We just need to settle in," she said. "Being thrown into this situation was not really ideal."

"Yeah, there is that," Ino acknowledged, taking out her wallet.

She pulled out a few crisp bills and put them on the table before standing up.

"And now, thanks to you guys, I've got some great gossip material," Ino smiled. "By the way, consider this lunch a wedding present!"

She walked out before they had the chance to say anything else.

"That girl is like a disaster just waiting to happen," Temari sighed, shaking her head.

"Ah, what can you do?" Shikamaru chuckled.

"We should probably go get all our things now," Temari suggested.

Shikamaru couldn't explain it, but he kind of liked the way she said that.

"Yes, _our_ things," he agreed. "We should go."

He got up, but Temari paused.

"Were you really going to ask me out?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, not really," Shikamaru lied. "Ino got it into her head that we'd make a good couple, but of course, I didn't really think so."

He couldn't look at her directly, so he didn't notice that the twinkle in her eye faded out at his statement.

"If I told you," Temari began, hesitant. "That I would've said yes… Then what would you say?"

"That we're already married and that we can't do anything about it now," Shikamaru retorted.

"Okay, smartass," Temari snapped, standing up. "Let's just go get the stuff."

"_Our_ stuff," he corrected her.

"It's like we've already started counseling," Temari muttered irritably.

A smirk pulled at the corners of his lips as he followed her out the door.

"Oi Nara!" someone called after them. "What about the tip?!"

Temari reacted to the name faster than Shikamaru, turning around and apologizing. The smile spread across his face much too quickly for him to be able to deny that he wasn't pleased.

* * *

**Note: The title of this chapter is from Last Name by Carrie Underwood.**


	3. there's no place else i could be

**A/N: Well, this is late, but Happy New Year! Remember to review! :)**

"So, you go pick up my stuff and I'll pick up yours," Shikamaru suggested. "Then we can go back to the apartment and settle in properly."

"What are you scared of?" Temari asked, narrowing her eyes. "Oh, never mind. It must be your _mommy_ that you don't want to confront."

"Think what you want," he muttered. "That woman is like hell personified."

Temari shook her head.

"That poor, sweet lady?" she snorted. "Yoshino-san was always very gracious to me."

"Yeah, well, we'll see," Shikamaru smirked. "Bye!"

So, Temari went off in the direction of Shikamaru's ex-house. As she was walking, a pink haired girl latched onto her arm.

"Sakura!" Temari exclaimed. "What's up?"

"What do you mean what's up?" Sakura asked, sounding hurt. "What's up is that you are _married_ and you didn't tell any of us."

The blonde squirmed uncomfortably.

"I had to find out from _Ino_ of all people," Sakura continued. "And I just know she's going to hold this over my head for like _forever_. Anyway, how's married life going?"

"I don't know," Temari shrugged. "It's going. We're moving into an apartment and Shikamaru won't go pick up his stuff because he's scared of Yoshino-san."

Sakura shuddered.

"Yoshino-san is a little frightening," she pointed out. "I'll catch up with you later, Temari. Have fun!"

"Wait a–" Temari began, but Sakura was already gone.

Temari sighed and continued on her way until she reached the Nara residence. She took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. Less than three seconds later, Nara Yoshino opened the door, looking irritated already.

"Yoshino-san, I'm here to pick up some of Shikamaru's stuff," Temari explained.

The older woman eyed her suspiciously before letting her inside.

"He was too chicken to come himself, huh?" she guessed.

"Obviously," Temari laughed. "So I was left with the job."

"Well, his room is that way," Yoshino told her, pointing down the hallway.

"Don't worry, Yoshino-san!" Temari called. "I know."

Yoshino frowned, wondering how exactly she had acquired this knowledge. So, she followed Temari to her son's room and engaged her in conversation as the Sand shinobi began packing things she thought Shikamaru might need.

"So, were you two romantically involved before this whole thing happened?" Yoshino asked casually.

"Oh, no," Temari answered. "We were just friends."

"Interesting," Yoshino remarked. "Shikaku always thought you'd end up together. Lazy as hell, that man, but at least his intelligence is sound."

Temari, who had been packing shirts into Shikamaru's bag, paused.

"But we had no plans to ever go into that kind of relationship," she told her. "I don't understand why he would think that."

Yoshino shook her head.

"Sometimes, things just happen," she shrugged. "And we accept them as meant to be."

"I don't know about all that," Temari replied breezily. "This marriage was certainly not meant to be."

"Time will tell," Yoshino sighed. "Anyway, when you're done, come to the kitchen and say goodbye. Tell Shikamaru that he's a lazy good for nothing."

Temari giggled.

"Thank you, Yoshino-san," she smiled. "I will make sure to do that."

She would make a good daughter-in-law, in time, Yoshino supposed. The funny thing was, if Yoshino had ever managed to have a daughter (perhaps _before_ Shikamaru, that boy could always use some more sense beaten into him) then she thought she might've been exactly like Temari.

A smile pulled at Yoshino's lips as she left the room. At least she wouldn't have to worry about Shikamaru going soft…

* * *

Meanwhile, Shikamaru was walking to Chouji's house. He didn't want to have to get all of Temari's stuff _alone_. In fact, that would be the only way to make this situation worse than it already was.

Chouji was sitting on a bench near his house, holding a large bag of chips.

"Shikamaru!" he called. "How'd the meeting with Tsunade-sama go?"

Shikamaru had to grin as his best friend pulled out a chip and started munching on it contentedly. At least this would never change, even if everything else did.

"She can't do anything," he replied, sighing and sitting down. "So we're moving in together."

Chouji put a comforting hand on Shikamaru's shoulder.

"I'll call everyday to make sure you're alive," he told him seriously.

Shikamaru's grin widened.

"Always knew I could count on you," he laughed. "You up to helping me get Temari's stuff from her apartment? We're moving into Asuma-sensei's old apartment."

"Of course," Chouji nodded. "I'm up to anything."

On the way to Temari's old apartment, they came across Kiba and Akamaru.

"Hey, man!" Kiba called.

Shikamaru grimaced; Ino had probably told the other ninja what had happened. Chouji sensed that something might be up and instead went to pet Akamaru; he'd always liked the dog. Kiba waved to Chouji before turning to Shikamaru.

"What's up?" Shikamaru greeted him.

"Nothing much," Kiba replied. "_But_ I heard that you got that smoking Sand chick to _marry_ you. Is that true, dude? Is your bachelor life really over?"

"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru sighed. "We had a little too much to drink, that's all."

Kiba gave him a pitying look.

"So, one woman for the rest of your life," he mused. "That would be terrible, in my opinion. Can't cage an animal in."

"And you're an animal?" Shikamaru asked skeptically. "Wonderful."

Kiba nodded; he didn't have a problem admitting it.

"But, anyway," Kiba continued. "What I was really gonna say is that Ino was talking about throwing a party for you guys. Now, I like surprise parties as much as the next guy, but seriously, you guys didn't get into this on _purpose_. And I'm not sure exactly how you feel about the situation either so I thought it'd be fair to warn you."

"Troublesome woman," Shikamaru sighed. "Thanks, Inuzuka. Keep me posted, okay?"

"Whatever you want, man," Kiba agreed. "Good luck with the whole marriage thing. Don't die, we need you here."

Shikamaru laughed.

"I'm going to need that luck," he smirked. "Now I've got to get to her apartment. Messing this up would put us off to an even worse start."

"Just remember," Kiba called, as Shikamaru and Chouji started walking away. "At least you didn't accidentally marry an ugly one. Temari's hot! Not to mention, she is kind of an older woman. Once you start adjusting, who knows the kind of kink–"

"Just stop right there!" Shikamaru shuddered. "Let's not get any ideas, Inuzuka."

Kiba winked and began walking in the opposite direction with Akamaru.

"Whatever you say, Nara," he told him. "Ino told me about the way you felt about her."

"Yeah, I feel nothing," Shikamaru said nonchalantly. "Bye!"

Chouji shot him a bewildered look.

"But you've always had a soft spot for Temari," he insisted. "Shikamaru, you–"

"Maybe I like her a bit, as a _friend_," Shikamaru agreed. "But Inuzuka doesn't need to know that. Ino and her damn dates are going to ruin my life."

Chouji saw the look on his best friend's face and realized that he needed to vent a little bit. So, he pulled a fresh bag of chips out and listened to Shikamaru until they got to Temari's old apartment.

When they finally arrived, Shikamaru pulled the key out of his pocket and opened the door.

"Interesting," Chouji remarked.

Shikamaru had been here a lot but he couldn't resist taking a deep breath. It smelled nice, a mixture of sand and chestnuts. There were a few pots with plants of a vibrant green.

"She really does spend a lot of time here," Chouji observed.

Shikamaru nodded, advancing to Temari's bedroom.

She was pretty neat, so Shikamaru was able to locate her suitcases quickly. Chouji started opening the clothes drawers. He drew back immediately after opening the first drawer.

"Shikamaru, you can do the drawers," he offered, clearly uncomfortable. "I'll start getting the plants and stuff in the kitchen together."

"Okay," Shikamaru shrugged, wondering what had happened.

After Chouji went back out, Shikamaru walked over to the drawer his friend had opened. Chuckling, he realized why Chouji had been so keen to take care of the plants.

He had opened her underwear drawer and the pink lace had sent him running.

Even as he laughed, Shikamaru's cheeks warmed as he pulled the impractical _things_ from the drawer and put them in the suitcase. His embarrassment evaporated only when he was done.

"Chouji!" he called, after half an hour. "Are you ready to go?"

Chouji came into the room, still smiling awkwardly.

"Yeah, I'm good," he replied. "Let's head to Asuma-sensei's apartment. Temari's probably there already."

Temari didn't have all her stuff and they were shinobi after all, so they only needed to make the one trip.

When they got to Asuma's apartment, Shikamaru fumbled for the keys and realized he'd given them to Temari.

"Crap," he muttered. "Let's just hope she's in there."

Chouji shrugged and knocked loudly.

The blonde opened the door with a small grin.

"Hey, Chouji!" she exclaimed. "I guess Shikamaru couldn't even get my stuff on his own."

"Not like that, Temari-san," Chouji laughed. "Shikamaru just wanted some company."

"You're too good to him," Temari retorted.

Shikamaru grunted.

"_Him_ is right here," he pointed out. "Can we come inside, Temari?"

"Well, it's your house," Temari said. "So, I would assume so."

The two walked in.

"You cleaned," Chouji noticed. "I mean, nobody has lived here since…"

He trailed off, not wanting to finish his thought.

"Yeah," Temari answered airily. "I figured I'd get it over with before Shikamaru could come and complain about the chemical smell. I know he absolutely detests it."

Chouji glanced at Shikamaru, who glanced somewhere in the opposite direction. Chouji smiled; he was happy that Shikamaru was happy, even if he hadn't quite realized it.

"Thanks," Shikamaru said offhandedly. "Anyway, I guess you'll want to unpack your stuff."

"_Or_ you can unpack it, just like you packed it," Temari proposed.

Before Shikamaru could say anything, Chouji looked at his watch and gasped.

"I'm supposed to be training with Ino in five minutes," he realized. "Shikamaru, I hope you can handle all this. Don't want Ino killing me."

"It's fine, Chouji," Shikamaru smiled. "Thanks for your help. Bye!"

Chouji ran out, slightly relieved that he had somewhere else to be.

"So, are you going to unpack it or not?" Temari asked, hands on her hips.

Shikamaru reached up to scratch his head.

"Isn't it kind of awkward?" he said, avoiding the question. "I mean, your personal stuff is in there."

She raised an eyebrow.

"You think I didn't touch any of your boxers?" she pointed out. "Come on, they're just underwear."

"I don't know, it's just weird," Shikamaru protested. "They're _pretty_."

Temari bit her lip uncomfortably. A funny feeling swirl had started traveling through her stomach.

"On second thought, I'll do it," she offered hurriedly. "Um, you can make dinner."

He gave her a blank stare.

"You can't cook, can you?" Temari sighed, shaking her head. "That's going to change, husband darling. How about tomorrow night we start teaching you how to cook?"

"Sure," Shikamaru agreed.

"Then, what do we do tonight?" she mused.

He grinned; he had this covered, at least.

"Tonight, we'll go out," Shikamaru suggested. "It can be like… Like a first date."

Temari looked at him, surprised by the way the swirl seemed to move faster when their eyes met.

"Okay," she agreed. "Let's go on a first date."

* * *

**Note: The title of this chapter is from Here (In Your Arms) by Hellogoodbye.**


	4. i'm taking a chance, letting you inside

**A/N: I apologize for the space between updates. I know that's not really an excuse, but bear with me here. What do ya'll think of this chapter? Review!**

Shikamaru pulled out a blue shirt, rolling his eyes as he buttoned it up. He didn't want to wear anything uncomfortable but he'd too often heard Temari complain about guys' complete lack of a sense of good clothes. He had to represent his gender well, right? That was the only reason he was wearing nice pants and a nice shirt.

A knock sounded at the bedroom door.

"Shikamaru, are you done yet?" Temari called.

Shikamaru pulled open the door and let her inside.

"I have to do my hair," Temari explained.

She trailed off, noticing the way his eyebrows had raised.

"Oh, shut up," she snorted. "I'm female, you know?"

Shikamaru didn't say anything until she had advanced to the mirror and started pulling at her blonde locks. He hadn't realized he was holding a breath in until he let it out.

"I always knew that," he retorted lamely.

Temari shrugged.

"It's nice that you're that observant," she chuckled. "I was always told it'd be good to have an attentive husband…"

She finished tugging at her wild hair; Shikamaru figured that it wasn't worth the effort. (After all, she looked good already.)

"We should go," he suggested. "It'll take a few minutes to walk there and then that's our reservation time."

Temari looked at the clock and nodded. Shikamaru took the moment to examine his wife – his _wife_. The dress she was wearing was completely impractical, much like the stuff Ino wore on her dates but less revealing. It wasn't that she didn't look good but it was very unlike Temari. He hadn't known that she'd known that the color pink even existed, even if it was just a small ribbon on an otherwise blue dress.

"Once again, I'm a woman," she reminded him.

His eyes snapped back up to meet hers.

"Am I not allowed to look at you?" Shikamaru asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Look _all_ you want," Temari grinned. "Just remember, no touching."

Shikamaru inwardly groaned. He hadn't even given her an opening and she had rejected him. Oh, what a healthy marriage.

"Well, let's go," he said finally. "You sure you can walk in those?"

Temari glared at him.

"I can walk in heels perfectly fine, thank you," she told him.

He didn't say anything and instead opened the door, allowing her to exit first.

"What a gentleman," Temari smirked.

"Always," Shikamaru smirked back.

They walked through the streets, looking only slightly awkward, a feat that each was proud of. Out of the corner of his eye, Shikamaru could see people whispering as they passed, but he shrugged. He didn't particularly care what they were thinking. Temari, however, was having a different reaction. Her hands were balled up into tight fists, and she was shooting death glares at every person she saw.

"Chill, Temari," Shikamaru drawled. "They can look as long as they don't touch, right?"

"Hilarious," she shot back. "I'm very calm."

When they got to the restaurant, Shikamaru went up to the host and cleared his throat.

"Table for the Naras," he told him.

"Of course, Sir," the host replied. "Your table is ready."

He motioned to Temari and they followed the host to their table.

"I hope you enjoy your dinner," the host smiled.

Temari giggled as the man left to attend to other customers.

"Pretty upscale place, Nara," she remarked. "Hope you're not thinking this is all gonna help you get lucky."

He looked at her, mouth wide open for a moment.

"I never had anything like that in mind," Shikamaru answered, as he finally regained his ability to speak. "I don't do stuff like that on first dates."

A glint came into Temari's eyes as she pressed him further on the issue.

"Oh, I was right," she said. "You're a true gentleman. Wait until the second date usually, hm?"

Sure, Shikamaru was a genius, but that hadn't ever extended into the romance department (or really, any department that involved Temari).

"At least," he shrugged. "It's okay to wait till the fourth date sometimes but some things are just troublesome, you know?"

"So, you just want to get laid!" Temari exclaimed.

The shadow user turned a light shade of pink and lowered his voice to a whisper.

"Temari, calm down," Shikamaru told her. "We're in public. And I don't want to get _laid_."

"Oh, am I not _good_ enough for you?" she snapped.

Her voice was getting louder and the people from a few tables around them had turned to glance at them.

"Temari, I never said that," Shikamaru retorted calmly. "Just be a bit quieter, will you?"

"People would've _died_ to marry me, you know?!" Temari raged. "Not only am I the Kazekage's sister, I'm an accomplished kunoichi and for what it's worth, not that you would stoop to _my_ level, I'm damn good in bed!"

A horrified mother covered her child's ears and Shikamaru shot her an apologetic smile.

"Nara-san, please calm down."

The couple turned to the new voice, finally noticing that the host was back.

"I'm cool," Shikamaru insisted. "I mean–"

"Sir, I was talking to your wife," the host said. "I'm afraid that if she doesn't calm down, we–"

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST CALLED ME BY _HIS_ NAME!" Temari fumed. "I'LL LEAVE THIS SAD ESTABLISHMENT ON MY OWN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

Shikamaru sighed as the Sand kunoichi stomped her way out of the restaurant.

"I'm so sorry for all the trouble," he apologized. "Please, keep this."

He threw a few crumpled bills on the table.

"Every marriage has problems," the host said knowingly. "Once the newlywed haze is over…"

"Oh, we're still pretty new at this," Shikamaru replied breezily. "We got married a day or two ago."

The man stared at him for a moment, not sure of what to say.

"Thank you for the compensation, Nara-san," he muttered.

Shikamaru chuckled to himself as the host fled the scene. He supposed he would have had that reaction to someone in his situation too.

Running a hand through his hair, he went out of the restaurant to find Temari. After wandering around for fifteen minutes, he finally found her in the training field that she frequented when she was in Konoha. She was sitting in the grass, staring at the night sky as if there was some grand answer to all her questions in the stars.

"Temari!" he called.

She turned around, saw him, and turned back around. Shikamaru groaned as he walked over to her.

"What the hell was that back there?" he asked.

"Nothing," Temari replied shortly. "Listen, I want to try to make this work, but if you think in stupid _man_ thoughts, it's not going to work. I mean, girls aren't just…"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"DON'T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME, NARA SHIKAMARU!" Temari thundered. "WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME AND NOT TAKE EVERYTHING WITH THE ATTITUDE OF SUCH A _PIG_?!"

She was blinking rapidly and Shikamaru realized that she was incredibly frustrated.

"I don't think in man thoughts," he told her smoothly. "I have never attempted to get _laid_, as you so nicely put it."

Temari looked up, eyes wide.

"You've never…?"

She trailed off and looked back up at the sky.

"Wait!" Temari glared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"If you've never done that, then what were you saying about the fourth date?" she inquired pointedly.

"I thought you were talking about something else," Shikamaru sighed. "I, uh, respect people's personal space, you know?"

Temari's disapproving frown was making way for a broad grin.

"Nara Shikamaru, you wait for your fourth date to have the first kiss!" she realized.

"Shut up," he muttered. "I don't want to–"

"It's okay," Temari interrupted. "It's just interesting."

She tried to hide her giggles behind her hand but she finally broke down into a fit of laughter.

"You're such a wimp," she told him.

"I respect people's personal space," Shikamaru retorted.

"Wimp."

"Space."

"Wimp."

"Space."

"Wimp!"

"Troublesome."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"I lied too," Temari admitted. "In the restaurant, I mean."

"Go on," he prompted her.

She took a deep breath.

"If you laugh, you're dead," Temari warned him.

Shikamaru nodded and braced himself.

"I've never really attempted it either," she chuckled. "I mean, there were too many guys who just wanted to get to Gaara, and you know… I mean, of course I've done things that you evidently have _not_, Mr. Personal Space, but never actually…"

He refrained from laughing and instead shrugged.

"Interesting," Shikamaru grinned.

"Shut up," Temari told him, giving him a light shove.

She looked up at the sky again, taking a deep breath.

"You know, now is probably the right time to kiss me," Temari advised him.

"Personal space," he replied immediately. "Perhaps another time, Temari."

She looked at him in disbelief.

"I just gave you an opening, Nara!" Temari exclaimed. "Take it!"

Shikamaru shook his head stubbornly.

"This is our first date," he insisted. "I mean, even though we didn't actually get dinner or anything. Don't you think we'd be moving a bit fast?"

"I don't think so," Temari retorted. "We're already married."

"But–" Shikamaru protested.

His protests were silenced by her lips on his. For a moment, Shikamaru allowed his mind to wander and the only thing that he was aware of was how soft her lips were. Before he knew it, he was kissing her back, she was pulling him closer, and then, he remembered that he had to breathe.

"Wimp," Temari muttered.

Her hands were still entangled in his hair; his arms around her waist.

"That's not happening again until our fourth date," Shikamaru declared.

His voice wavered a bit and he hoped she hadn't noticed.

"Don't be ridiculous," Temari snorted. "Drop this idea of invading my personal space. We are married and we _live_ together. It can't get much more personal space invading than this."

"Well, it could," Shikamaru began.

"Pervert," she teased.

"Oi, Temari, I didn't mean it like that!" he exclaimed.

She laughed and he let himself grin.

"We should probably go get some food, huh?" Shikamaru suggested.

"We can pick up something quick on the way home," Temari agreed. "But let's just sit for a little while."

A little while turned into a few hours. They sat there, talking and fighting, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her waist. When they finally got up to leave, Shikamaru was covered in dirt from whenever Temari got especially angry and decided to throw things at him.

"That wasn't bad, Nara," Temari remarked. "Though you could definitely use a shower."

"It's your fault," Shikamaru grumbled. "Let's get some food and get home."

"Aw, is little Shikamaru feeling a little grumpy?" she asked sarcastically. "Come on, let's get you home."

He raised an eyebrow before leaning down, swiping up a clod of dirt, and throwing it right into Temari's stomach, light enough not to hurt her, but hard enough for it to explode into a bunch of little dirt particles.

"Shikamaru!" Temari shrieked. "I like this dress!"

"And I like being clean," he retorted. "Sometimes, in marriage, we have to give things up."

"You idiot!" she exclaimed.

They were both completely brown by the time they got home with their dinner. They ate amiably enough, with only a few rude comments thrown in here and there.

"So, I guess tomorrow will be our second date," Temari realized.

"Teaching me how to cook now qualifies as a date?" Shikamaru asked skeptically.

She shrugged, a devilish twinkle in her eye.

"It gets us closer to that _fourth_ date," she pointed out.

Shikamaru found that he couldn't argue with that logic and nodded.

* * *

**Note: The title of this chapter is from First Time by Lifehouse.**


	5. i kinda wanna be more than friends

**A/N: So, if I didn't have a new chapter, I'd be hiding in a corner, as I've been doing for the past months. Sorry it's been so long. I hope you guys are still interested! Review! :)**

Shikamaru stretched and yawned, blinking as he started to really wake up. Sleeping on the floor wasn't something he _couldn't_ do, but doing it in his own home sucked. They really needed to do something about this bed situation.

"Morning," Temari called.

He grinned to himself as he stood up. This was just how it went in Ino's girly movies, after two people had an _eventful_ date. The woman would remain there until morning and then rush off to work after making breakfast. (Though, Shikamaru reflected, sometimes it was the man that cooked. Luckily, she had woken up first.)

As the smell of bacon and eggs greeted his senses, Shikamaru's grin became wider. He could get used to this.

"You made breakfast?" he asked, walking into the kitchen.

"No, I put you in a genjutsu to make you believe that I did," Temari snorted. "Yes, I made breakfast, you idiot. Here's your food."

She pushed a plate toward him with two pieces of toast, a couple strips of bacon, and two fried eggs on it. Shikamaru sniffed it suspiciously before digging in.

"You're a better cook than my mom," he admitted, between mouthfuls.

Temari shrugged but said nothing. Shikamaru picked out her staying quiet as strange but waited for her to say something.

"My mother made the best food," she said finally. "I was young, but I remember… And so I learned in a kind of memorial to her."

Shikamaru had tried to fill the silence by eating, so he was done by now. He put his fork down and put a hand on her shoulder.

"She'd be proud," he told her, the words spilling from his mouth in a somewhat awkward fashion.

He then walked back into the bedroom to shower and get ready for the day. After all, she wouldn't want him to see that she was biting her lip. (He noticed anyway; oh well, it was how their relationship worked.)

As Shikamaru stepped into the shower, he reflected that some things never changed. The hot water comforted him as always, sending his mind into a happy haze of warmth. He reached for the soap, humming softly.

Shikamaru finished within a few minutes, so he turned off the water and reached for his towel. Wrapping it around the lower half of his body, he wrung out his wet hair into the tub before exiting the bathroom.

"Shikamaru!"

He turned to the side to find a wide-eyed Temari looking at him, her hand over her heart as if in shock.

"Oh, hey," he said, nodding in acknowledgement. "Did I take too long in the bathroom or something?"

She blinked a few times. Sure, she'd trained with Shikamaru enough times that she'd seen him shirtless before, but Temari had never seen him like _this_. His hair dripping wet, his lean torso covered in droplets of water… If only that towel would have the courtesy to fall.

"Temari, are you okay?" Shikamaru asked.

"I needed the bathroom, yeah," she managed to get out.

Temari hurried into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Shikamaru looked after her, scratching his head in confusion.

"Women," he muttered.

Temari happened to do some of her best relaxing in the shower as well, so she shed her clothes and stepped into the still steamy shower. All went well for the next seven minutes; she managed to get clean as well as forget about how good that scrawny idiot had looked. And then…

"Shit!" Temari exclaimed.

She had forgotten her towel. Her towel! How would she go outside with Shikamaru there? Quickly, she remembered that she had worn clothes before getting in the shower. Sighing in relief, she got out and wrapped her clothes around her body, not putting them on because it was, of course, ridiculous to put on unclean clothes right after showering.

Temari shrieked as she opened the bathroom door. Shikamaru was standing there, already dressed. This momentary surprise caused her fingers to slip, and the material covering her form dropped to the ground.

It was Shikamaru's turn to widen his eyes. He did, at least, have the decency to turn around as she ran over to the closet to actually put on clothes.

"WHY THE HELL WERE YOU STANDING THERE LIKE THAT?" Temari shouted. "YOU GAVE ME THE SCARE OF MY LIFE!"

"I thought you were supposed to be a kunoichi," Shikamaru retorted. "Guess that's all it takes to scare you…"

"Real mature," Temari shot back. "Attack my skills because I happen to be female. At least I'm not so lazy that I couldn't muster up the effort to make jonin!"

He sighed; the truth was, he wasn't in good enough condition to spar verbally with Temari. The image of his _wife_, her skin still moist from the shower, was embedded in his mind. Every time he closed his eyes, the image greeted him.

"I just wanted to tell you that I was leaving," Shikamaru told her. "I'm going, okay?"

"Oh, SHUT UP," Temari barked. "There's no way you were standing right out there just to tell me you were leaving. Just because you were comfortable with me seeing you half naked doesn't mean that I was comfortable with you seeing me without clothes on! Have some tact, Shikamaru!"

He looked at her, confused.

"What are you even saying?" Shikamaru asked.

The kunoichi's cheeks turned a light shade of pink, and it finally dawned upon her slow-in-all-romantic-matters spouse that she had _enjoyed_ seeing him right out of the shower.

And then, for once in Shikamaru's life, he did something on impulse. He didn't take himself through the hundred possible outcomes, nor did he think about the hundred different ways to execute this properly.

"We _are_ married, you know," he informed her swiftly.

That was all the notice she was given before, for the second time in twelve hours, Shikamaru's lips met hers in a sweet kiss that felt right in so many ways that Temari threw her hands into her husband's still damp hair and kissed him back.

She was the first to break away this time, and it was only then that she noticed that her back was against her closet door and that Shikamaru's body was pressed lightly to her own.

"We _are_ only past our first date, you know," Temari teased.

"You don't seem to be too troubled," Shikamaru shrugged. "Tsunade-sama's gonna kill me if I don't get to work though. See you tonight?"

"I suppose this is the part where I play the role of the perfect wife," Temari grumbled. "Blow my husband a kiss as he waves?"

"I'd never expect you to be the perfect wife," Shikamaru winked.

At first, Temari thought he was just being sweet in an attempt to comfort her. He was long gone by the time she realized the second meaning.

"Damn him," she muttered.

Chouji was waiting outside the apartment building for Shikamaru, so when the black haired shinobi finally came outside, he was relieved.

"Where have you been?" Chouji asked. "Tsunade-sama's going to kill us both!"

"Blame it on Temari," Shikamaru sighed. "Sorry, Chouji."

The large man shrugged amiably. He would always wait for Shikamaru; that's just how their friendship was.

They started walking, not too fast. It didn't take Chouji long to notice the spring in his best friend's step.

"Why so happy?" he questioned curiously.

Shikamaru stopped in his tracks, wondering if it was really that obvious. Grimacing, he turned to the man he trusted with nearly every secret he had.

"I kissed Temari again today," Shikamaru told him.

He allowed himself a small smile.

"Again?" Chouji said. "Kissed? Shikamaru, you haven't even gone on any dates yet!"

"We went on one yesterday," Shikamaru protested. "_She_ kissed _me_ yesterday! I kissed her today, because, well…"

He explained the whole situation in great detail, not leaving anything out or exaggerating.

"It sounds like you're liking married life," Chouji pointed out, his eyes twinkling.

"Shikamaru, that had to have been the only smooth thing you've ever done in your entire _life_!"

Both men turned to their right to find a smiling Ino.

"How long have you been there?" Shikamaru asked slowly.

"Darling, when will you learn that stealth is a key part of my skills?" Ino retorted, tossing her blonde hair. "Anyway, I have to say I underestimated you, Shikamaru. I thought I'd have to guide you through your relationship like I guided this team to ultimate coolness!"

Her teammates looked at her skeptically.

"Coolness?" Shikamaru said. "I think you might have to use real words to attract Sai's attention, Ino."

The blonde waved that away.

"Doesn't anyone let you in on the gossip?" she asked, offended. "I'm with _Kiba_, Shikamaru, _Inuzuka_ _Kiba_."

"Yes, Ino," Shikamaru replied tiredly. "We all care about your love life."

"Well, I care about yours!" Ino exclaimed. "And I can't have you stuck in a miserable marriage when you are both _so obviously_ in love. So I think we should devise a plan."

Chouji looked at his female teammate suspiciously.

"Is this going to be like the plan you made to get Sai's attention?" he asked. "That didn't really– "

"Just like that!" Ino interrupted, snapping her fingers. "I'd forgotten about that lovely little ploy. Now, Chouji, I'm going to take the day off and teach Shikamaru all he needs to know about marriage. You tell Tsunade-sama that he's taking the day off."

Chouji gulped and looked at his best friend with uncertainty. Shikamaru sighed in exasperation.

"Ino, I can't just do that," he began.

"Not a word!" Ino told him. "Shikamaru, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. Are you going to cooperate?"

It was then that Chouji realized that the most pressing danger was the glint in Ino's eye.

"No worries, Shikamaru!" he declared. "Sakura told me that I needed to come in for a check up, and Tsunade-sama will surely be sending me to the hospital, so it works out for everybody."

Chouji grinned at Shikamaru, and Shikamaru sent him a look of sympathy. Still, as Chouji left them with a wave, he knew that he was the one getting a better deal here.

"Shikamaru, let's start with tonight," Ino said. "So, what are you doing?"

"Ino, this is stupid," Shikamaru replied. "Do we have to do this?"

"Take flowers," she instructed, ignoring his protests. "I'll give them to you free! After all, you are my teammate. And let's do something about your look…"

Shikamaru threw his hands in the air in frustration.

"I'm not changing for Temari!" he proclaimed. "I'm just not! So, if you want to talk about what we should do, fine. But I'm not doing anything I don't want to do."

"Fair enough," Ino agreed. "But don't blame me when you're not having sex."

"Is that all anyone cares about?" Shikamaru grumbled. "I just want to have a nice, calm relationship."

Ino clicked her tongue.

"With Temari?" she asked skeptically. "Sweetheart, you and I both know that's not happening. So let's work on how you're going to win over the lovely woman I'm sure is trapped inside the tomboyish kunoichi."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, but he allowed her to continue talking.

Three hours later, Shikamaru was exhausted, but Ino seemed to be perkier than ever.

"Let's go over the plan one more time!" she said. "Just to make sure you know it. I know you're a genius, but you never seem to pay attention when I talk."

"I wonder why," Shikamaru muttered.

She glared at him, so he rolled his eyes and started talking.

"I go in with flowers," Shikamaru sighed. "I give them to her, and then I ask whether she wants to go get ingredients for whatever we're making. She has to say yes, because we'll have to eat, so we go to the market. When we're there, I somehow manage to put my arm around her, or we could hold hands. Of course, I pay for everything. We get back home, and you will have already set up the kitchen with candles and a bottle of wine. We cook, we eat, and we sleep. Happy?"

"Good enough for day one," Ino replied, satisfied. "But Shikamaru, you can't just sleep! Get some action in there. Do you want me to ask Kiba to come give you some tips?"

"God, no," he said quickly.

"Okay," Ino shrugged. "Let's go get you some flowers."

Shikamaru arrived at the apartment fifteen minutes later, a bouquet of red flowers in hand. He took a deep breath before twisting his key into the lock.

"Hey, Temari," he called.

"Oh, you're here," Temari replied, appearing from the bedroom. "What's up?"

Shikamaru held up the bouquet and made an effort to smile.

"I got these for you," he told her.

"How'd you know these were my favorite, Nara?" Temari asked.

Despite her suspicion, she accepted them graciously. He didn't bother to tell her that he'd picked them out even though Ino had said they weren't right for such an early date.

"Just picked ones that looked healthy," Shikamaru shrugged. "So, do you want to go to the market?"

"Yeah, let me grab some cash," Temari agreed.

"Uh, you don't have to do that!" Shikamaru said awkwardly. "I'll, uh… I'll pay for everything."

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"I guess we can just go then," she said. "You ready?"

Shikamaru nodded, and they stepped out of the apartment into the hallway. As he struggled to remember Ino's stupid plan, he felt a warm hand slip into his.

"Hey, Temari," Shikamaru nudged her, overwhelmed by a burst of spontaneity.

"What?" she asked.

"Marry me?" he smirked.

Temari didn't bother to dignify that with a response; besides, it made no sense.

Shikamaru chuckled to himself as his wife thought that over.

A few minutes later, when they had almost reached the market, Temari's lips parted to let a single word slip from her mouth.

"Yes."

* * *

**Note: The title of this chapter is from Animal by Neon Trees.**


End file.
